Contents
Hello and welcome to the 3rd installment of our series ‘The Sex Diaries’. In this episode we’ll talk about how to get what you like during sex.
Often, we have sexual wants and needs that go unfulfilled due to us shying away from expressing them, possibly out of a fear that our partners will view us in a certain light, or by fearing that we’ll embarrass ourselves. However, there’s a way to get what you like during sex, and here’s how.
This post covers themes of a sexual nature and is intended for mature audiences.
Get Super Freaky
Sometimes, the best way to get what you like during sex is to go into ‘freaky frenzy’, a sexual mode where anything goes. It is best not to announce that you will do this but while having sex, just go nuts and freak out, moaning as loudly as you can and hopefully, this will switch on freaky frenzy for your partner too.
Ladies are especially in a good place to do this. If you guide your partner to do something in a certain way, then they’ll likely go with the flow or ask if you are okay with it. If they do, say yes immediately and keep on guiding them on how to do it. This method works.
On the other hand, if you’re a guy, first gently go into freaky frenzy and then ask your partner whether you can do a certain thing implicitly. For instance, get into the posture of that certain sex position or act and then ask them if it’s okay. More often than not, your partner may say “Yes!” They may ask if you want this and what you say is “Only if you do”.
Have a Talk
It is often underrated what having a sexual ‘talk’ can do to help better your sex. The most effective way to get what you like during sex is to have this talk and to express what you like, how it makes you feel, and how you would like it to be done. For instance, maybe you like to cuddle tightly immediately after having an orgasm and by having the talk and saying this is your thing then you will get it. The way to go about it is to also say how it makes you feel. Maybe it makes you feel loved, treasured, and protected; and then to say how you want it done. Probably say from behind or while both of you are facing each other, etc.
By doing this, you not only let your partner know what you like during sex, but also why you like it, what it does for you, and how you want it to be done. As your partner who loves you and wants you to have the best sex, I wouldn’t deny you something you say is important to you and that makes you fulfilled in a certain way.
Create a Situation for What You Like to Happen
Now, another way of getting what you like during sex is to create a situation for it to happen. For instance, maybe I want to have hot steamy shower sex or sex in the bathtub. What I’ll do is prepare the bathroom with a nice scent, find some rose petals and trail them all the way there; then have something to help my partner get in the mood like some lube or aphrodisiac there.
By doing this, my partner will obviously know what it is I want, as I have prepared the setting. I would also try to time it well and at a time that they are not too tired, and also dress in a way that shows them I want to get freaky. By doing this, I’ll make it way easier to have the shower or tub sex I want, and I’d even go further and put a bottle of wine and two glasses by the tub. Remember also, that some sweet background RnB music would work wonders as well. Nothing like some baby-making music while having wine in the tub with your partner.
Guilt Trip but Nicely
Another way I would go about it, which I almost do not advise, is to kind of slightly guilt trip your partner but in a nice way. The way to go about this is to pick a point when you’re fighting or arguing and when the waterworks (tears) are almost or already flowing, and saying “Baby, you don’t even give me head, and Lord knows I want you down there (sobs).”
Now, this is a tricky way to get what you like during sex but it can sometimes be effective. One, your partner will know what you like. Two, they’ll consider doing it for you either as a way to apologize or hopefully, in recognition of that particular thing as important to you. I almost do not advise this but when executed effectively; it could open a new line of sexual communication which will, in turn, lead to better and more fulfilling sex for both of you.
The Cheeky Approach – Write a Nasty Text and then Go into Do Not Disturb
The cheeky approach to getting what you like during sex is to write your partner a nasty, naughty text expressing something you like during sex, out of the blue, and then putting your phone into ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode for the rest of the day.
Why this is effective is 1, you’ve said it in a nasty and sexy way albeit out of the blue. 2, you’ve gone a-wall for a while, giving your partner some time to factor in what you like and think about it. 3, you’ve also dropped that bomb out of nowhere and the element of surprise can be very effective in triggering unusual or reactionary responses.
Surprise, Surprise
The other way to get what you like during sex is to surprise your partner with it. For instance, you two are just having sex and then you say something like “Baby, spank me hard!” Alternatively, you could start gently spanking your partner during sex and in the few seconds after they are initially shocked, they may go along with it, and you’ll get what you like.
Surprises can be very effective. For instance, maybe you want to try out some gentle BDSM. If you tell your partner to give you a few seconds just before sex and go into the bathroom, only to come out in a sexy leather costume with a whip, then they’ll be very surprised but then you should double down and role play as a dominatrix. The way to go about this is to get into a deeper voice, use a commanding tone, and tell them to act as a puppy or something.
Pulling a surprise with a costume or even ‘improv’ role-playing can be something very intriguing and if your partner is open-minded enough, they’ll just play on with you and you’ll both have an adventure. More importantly, you’ll get what you like during sex which is the thing we want; you having mind-blowing sex with someone you love.
Thank you for reading Mania Inc.. This post is public so feel free to share it.
Above all, make sure you have consent. No sex is sex if there isn’t consent.
Thank you for reading The Sex Diaries. Let us know in the comments what method(s) you’d use to get what you like during sex! I know I’d go the cheeky way. Cheers.
