Contents
The story begins with me moving out of Ongata Rongai to a suburb, Ole Kasasi. I was just about to finish my bachelor’s degree in Business and IT, BBIT, and was seeking a place to be, away from the noise in Rongai. I was ready for the next stage in my life; earning some money and finding myself and what I want to do with my life. At the time, I was too shy to pursue music. I went looking for houses and when I found one I met this beautiful lady who at the time I didn’t know I would fall in love with. We met and talked, and over time, one thing led to another, and she became my girl.
Epic
The girl who I’ll name Epic was my girl. We would spend time together when possible, especially when she was not having any classes at University and when I would be free from my online work at the time. She was amazing and is still such a beautiful person. We got to know each other, and despite thinking that I wouldn’t enter a relationship, I allowed myself to fall in love and see where it goes. I realized I loved her when I went home for the weekend and missed her so much. I was racing back, wanting to see her. I even went to see her just after getting to my place. She was my love, and I loved her deeply.
Fate
As fate would have it, there was a university break that would go for maybe three to five months for her, a long holiday. Her school would go for trimesters, and she was slated to go for her long holiday in early Dec 2019. We had only met in August that year, and she had to move out and go home for a holiday. Distance became an issue, and we would try and see each other whenever possible. We officially entered a relationship after she had gone home virtually, in early 2020.
I couldn’t believe that I actually had a girlfriend and that I was in love. I always thought I would rather be by myself and navigate life as an individual. Love for me was always something I preserved, and I would never have wanted to get into something without actually being in love. Little did I know that I had fallen. Love can be quite the thing, and it’s so terrible when you lose it. Luckily it had not gone that far. It is so unfortunate that marriages break, and parents have to co-parent.
2020
2020 was a terrible year, and shortly after the onset of the pandemic, I lost my online writing job. Losing my job really hurt me because I was a terribly hardworking individual. I would give a lot of my time to work, and I would always try my best to do as much work as possible. However, I was underpaid, and my employer at the time would even skim some pay on top of underpaying me. I would have none of it, and I decided that I needed to find my luck elsewhere.
Epic would always tell me to get another job, but with God’s Grace, I got the idea to start a blog. Blogging doesn’t just fork out money on the get-go, and to get to where I wanted to be, I had to work on website development and blogging as a whole, without pay. I knew it would take me a while before making anything from any of my blogs, and I was fine with that. For me, blogging required that I give six months or more of unpaid work and effort to set myself up for making some money in the future. My blogging also raised my interest in photography leading to David Mania Photography.
Love and Distance
Epic would always take a chance to come and see me, and even when it was difficult, I would try and facilitate her transport from home and back home. It was the least I could do. She was my girlfriend, and Lord knows I would have sent her a driver to pick her up if I was that rich. However, the situation was tough on my side, and I had to survive the COVID-19 period without pay while working on my blogs. I went into complete isolation, and sometimes I would spend more than a week in the house.
Being alone all this time didn’t bother me because I knew I had a girlfriend, and I was busy creating my blogs. Unfortunately, the relationship took a hit as I would always get angry that Epic is not showing up enough. I would always feel like she is not so eager to take any chances to spend time together anymore. Luckily there are now viable COVID-19 vaccines, and hopefully, with vaccination, the pandemic and lockdowns worldwide will end.
Broken Plate
By September 2020, we had broken up a few times and gotten back together after begging her to stay. I really loved her, and it got to a point where I thought we could even live together. I was in for the long haul, and I even cut off some ladies because I would not have wanted Epic to feel insecure with me texting or communicating with someone else. I made a choice to be committed, and I was. I also didn’t hide her.
I claimed our love publicly and even on social media, something that she was against. I felt like I was at a point in my life where I was ready to commit, but I always felt that maybe she was not. She had lots of friends and especially boys. I took issue with that. I wondered why do you need all these guys if you have me, the one who loves you and is willing to be there for you. When love breaks, it is like a plate; the more it breaks, the less it can be mended and the less it is worth mending.
Jealousy
After months without seeing each other, she implied that she would be in town with a friend. I was obviously jealous and demanded to know who this friend was, what they would be going to do, and why. She only disclosed that it is a girl and after a nasty argument about friends and being safe around boys, she was to come to Ongata Rongai the following day with her friend. Unfortunately, I was in such a bad financial situation that day that I felt that maybe she could pass by, but only if she was alone and not with her friend.
Despite how badly I was surviving, I wouldn’t be embarrassed if she found me that way, broke. She, however, insisted that she could only come with her friend, and to me, that was untenable because I would not have wanted visitors at the time. I told her that we should see each other another time, and I also felt like she was only coming to do what she was doing with her friend and not necessarily to see me. I would not have accepted to be just an afterthought or a by the way. I told her not to come if she would not come alone. So much for love and distance.
Loss
I was losing her, as she said, and she later told me that her friend was new to Rongai and that she could not just leave her somewhere and come alone. I didn’t know that on the day she was around and I felt so bad that the next day I sent her transport. She returned it to me twice, and that for me was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I reacted negatively and called her names.
I ended the relationship and was just done. I would not take such ill-treatment from anyone. I don’t believe that someone should maltreat you because you love them. From that day, it was never the same again, and despite my begging for months, she would not come back.
Tug of War
For a while, I reeled from the breakup, and it is only recently that I am finding more peace in being alone. I heard somewhere that love is just a chemical reaction. It releases dopamine in your brain. A heartbreak is also a chemical reaction, and stress hormones replace dopamine. Both being in love and being brokenhearted drift away, and nobody really knows why some things work out and others don’t.
I will always love Epic, and in a way, she is now a part of who I am. I realized that you can only love from your side and your heart, but no matter how much you do, it takes the other person loving just as hard and putting in as much effort as needed for it to work. However, if love was a tug of war, one should always be ready to pull less harder to allow the other person an easier pull.
How do you deal with heartbreaks?
Sweet Love
Love is wonderful, and despite my heartbreak, I know that I will love again. I am happy to get through this, and I pray that Epic will be fine without me. I know that sounds a little egotistic, but I honestly wish her all the happiness in the world. She is so beautiful and, despite the troubles, was a wonderful girlfriend. I have so many fond memories of us, and more and more each day, I get more ready to make new memories with someone else.
Being single is my forte, and I realized that I am a lone wolf. I don’t need a pack or a love to be who I am or who I want to be. Taking walks has helped me get through the heartbreak, and that’s how I found The Hippo Hangout. Love should not be dangled as a must-have. It should be a choice and preference, a culmination of affection, compatibility, and oneness. Love should be a melody and not a chant of revolt. Love yours and love you.
